thothmes: Jack O'Neill is sitting at a table surrounded by desserts and is chowing.  Legend: Eat dessert first, Life's too short. (Eat Dessert First - LTS)
This fic is a giftie for Lolmac. A full eight months ago I told her that I could probably come up with a comment fic for this graphic of hers, and here it finally is. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE GRAPHIC, GO IMMEDIATELY AND SEE IT. I'll wait, and if you don't you may be confused. For those who are not regular visitors to the site, please note that there is mouseover text too. Don't miss half the fun!

Title:Oh Kneel Before Your Gods

Season: Well, before season 10 when TPTB callously assassinated the Asgard without even allowing them to send their regards to their favorite, O'Neill! Late Season 5 maybe?

Spoilers: For the existence and general deportment of Thor, Nirrti, Yu, and Cronus. Oh, and a wee one for Arsenic and Old Lace. Can you find it?

Warnings: Caution, Crackfic Escaped from Comments Due to Size. SILLINESS! Eeeeee!!! It's gen unless you want to squint through your Jack/Thor, Jack/Sam, or Jack/Daniel specs, but you'll have to work it from your end, I think.

Disclaimer: I did not ingest anything that reminded me of the '70's before writing this. I have not been following any rabbits down holes, or talking to little blond girls in blue frocks and pinafores. I freely confess to having spent a few too many moments in front of sitcoms as a child [they were what the school authorities parked us in lieu of recess on rainy days], although because my mother rationed TV, I'm willing to bet I've watched less than you have...

Oh, yeah. That other thing. Don't own them, won't break them, not getting a sweet producing deal. RDA and the rest won't be delivering lines I write, and I will definitely not be able to send my final two kids off to college on the proceeds. I won't even be able to buy a single square of bubble gum.

Be very, very thankful, because if this sitcom actually became a world wide hit, America would have to spend the rest of eternity apologizing for our single-handed utter destruction of world culture.

Oh. Wait. I forgot about The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction. And the Kardashians.

Nevermind.

Sitting-comfortably-with-popcorn-popped-and-buttered-and-pizza ordered-Let's-watch )


********************

Enjoy!
thothmes: Sam Carter head down and smiling in reaction to Jack O'Neill.  Legend: Snort! (Snort - Proving Ground)
So recently [livejournal.com profile] a_loquita posted a lovely little (sam/jack) fiction involving ridiculous instructions, The World's Dumbest Instructions, to which I replied with a snippet of comment fic. In the replies to that the subject of warning labels came up, and that inspired this:

Title: Caution. Coffee Is Hot.
Season: While Jacob and Selmac are blended, Daniel is alive, and Jack's a Colonel
Spoilers: Uh...No!
Warnings: Nope. And Fig? It's Certified Shipfree. Maybe even FairTrade.
Synopsis: It's a universal constant, along with death and taxes.

Caution. Coffee Is Hot. )

***************

I also have a humorous little vignette from my life to share with you all. It's a look into what makes parenting so rich, varied, and unpredictable.

In Which The Whirlwind Gets A Record )


***************


Sorry if I may have ruined anyone's illusion that life in the country is placid and slow-paced, but come on up to Vermont and spend your tourist dollars anyway. After all, there are some 255 towns in Vermont, and only one of them contains the Whirlwind!
thothmes: jack lies on an infirmary bed, one hand on his forehead.  He is wincing.  Legend:  Big Headache! (BigHeadache!)
A long time ago (January 1st!) on [livejournal.com profile] lolmac's journal entry here, I made a comment in reaction to her posting and the mouseover on the picture as follows:

"If he really wants to outdo Mac's shirt, he just needs to get Carter to figure out a way to get his hair to change color in waves like one of those fiber optic desk-lamp thingys. I'm sure she could figure something out...

Can't you just see Hammond during the briefing trying desperately (and ultimately futilely) not to ask what the hell is going on with the Colonel's hair and why, lest he encourage them by reacting?
"

[livejournal.com profile] lolmac asked me to write this bit of crack fic, and suggested that some alien technology might be responsible.

I was going to immediately fire back with a little comment fic. But I fell asleep instead.

And then rl got hoppin' and it's taken me until now.

So without further ado:


Title: A Hair Brained Scene

Season: Sometime after both Legacy and Shades of Grey, probably 4th Season

Spoilers: Minor ones for both the above mentioned episodes. And it isn't a shocker that SG-11 is not the good karma team of the SGC, right?

Warnings: Silliness. Do not take seriously. Seriously. I mean it. (Anybody want a peanut?)

Disclaimer: I'm messing with characters that don't belong to me, and putting them in my bizarre off-kilter sandbox. Since I'm not charging admission, and they can go right back when I'm done, if these shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended...

Synopsis: He is the very model of a modern Major General. He knows things.

A Hair Brained Scene )

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A Few Words From The Wise

Speak to him, for there is none born wise.
-The Maxims of Ptahotep

In mourning or rejoicing, be not far from me.
- an Ancient Egyptian Love Song

But your embraces
alone give life to my heart
may Amun give me what I have found
for all eternity.
-Love Songs of the New Kingdom, Song #2

To Know the Dark

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings.
-Wendell Berry

Up in the morning's no for me,
Up in the morning early;
When a' the hills are covered wi' snaw,
I'm sure it's winter fairly.
-Robert Burns

Visit to the Hermit Ts'ui

Moss covered paths between scarlet peonies,
Pale jade mountains fill your rustic windows.
I envy you, drunk with flowers,
Butterflies swirling in your dreams.
-Ch'ien Ch'i

Mistress of high achievement, O lady Truth,
do not let my understanding stumble
across some jagged falsehood.
-Pindar

Every Gaudy colour
Is a bit of truth.
-Nathalia Crane

I counted two-and-twenty stenches,
All well defined, and several stinks.
-Samuel Coleridge