thothmes: Jack O'Neill, head down, pen held by forehead.  Legend: Writing is Hard (Writng Is Hard!)
S is for Snapshots, by Thothmes (PG 13)

Summary: The government keeps copies of everything going in and out of Homeworld and the S.G.C. Just a few random items from the archives that came across the desk of Rashida Murray as she did her 2153 C.E. PhD thesis on the early years of the Stargate program.
Word count: 4,648
Characters: Hammond, Jack, Daniel, Sam, Teal'c, Janet, Walter, Senator and Mrs. Kinsey, Sara O'Neill, Mayborne, Dr. Brightman, Orlin, Landry, Mitchell, Mrs. Struble, and Siler
Era: A little from each season. Fewer from Nine and Ten, which are rarely Earth based.
Categories: Alphabet Soup, and miscellaneous texture
Author's notes: For those of you who do not remember International Male from back in The Day, consult Wikipedia. Our household somehow ended up with catalogues from them, and I swear that's where Teal'c buys his civvies. The individual episodes that the correspondence relate to are referenced before each item.

Story Here )
thothmes: SG-1 gathered in the woods - Legend "Team" (Team in Smoke)
H IS FOR HELPING HANDS, by THOTHMES (PG)

Summary: Everyone needs a little help sometimes.
Word count: 3,366
Characters: Jack, Teal'c, Daniel, Sam, Thor, and offscreen, Hammond
Era: A long time ago in... Who am I kidding? Classic team, somewhere in the middle of their run.
Categories: team, offworld, gen (of course! This is a Soup!)
Author's notes: It seemed like such a good idea at the time. I immediately had a vivid scene in my head, all I needed was to flesh it out, elaborate if you will. I signed up with alacrity. This one had practically written itself. "Thhpppbbbbtttt!" said Muse. "This is offworld. I don't do offworld. And that scene? Won't work. Start over!"


Story Here )
thothmes: jack lies on an infirmary bed, one hand on his forehead.  He is wincing.  Legend:  Big Headache! (BigHeadache!)
Here is my contribution for today's Gen Fic Day Alphabet Soup

Title: Time Travel Alphabet Soup - J is for Just a Little Pocket Change

Season/Episode: Season 2, 1969

Warnings: Duh... it's time travel. Don't blame me if your brain ends up in a bit of a knot!

Disclaimer: No prophet, no profit, no reason to come after me. Really!




Time Travel Alphabet Soup – J is for Just a Little Pocket Change



The woods were quiet, and the fire had died down to embers. The only sound was the sound of the wind in the trees, and an occasional truck downshifting, out of sight up on the road. This particular campsite had been one of the less desirable ones because it was closer to the road, but Jack and Michael, who had picked it out, were more interested in price than communing with nature. The midnight hour had passed long ago, and the others were on the bus, asleep. Well, all except for Teal'c. He would have waited for Jenny and Michael to be sound asleep, and then risen from his pretended sleep to kel'no'reem.

Jack was not ready to sleep, not now, and not anytime soon. Some of it was the inactivity, he knew. Jenny and Michael seemed to be in no particular hurry, and he supposed that if he wanted to get in a run (in his combat boots!) they could get a later start in the morning, but they couldn't afford to miss the solar flares, and if Daniel was not able to get the location of the Stargate out of Catherine, then they would need every single second of the time between flares to try to find the thing, or they were trapped. And that would be unacceptable. Better to drive them all crazy with the restlessness that came when his energy had no other outlet, than to face the problem of what to do with Junior if they couldn't get away. Even Daniel, who seemed to show a particularly low tolerance to Jack's fidgets and drumming would choose that over an early death for Teal'c any day. Year. Time.

Man, oh man, Jack hated time travel. That was the problem, wasn't it? Time. Carter said it was like a river, with currents, eddies, and a destination. She said he shouldn't do anything to change it, that a little thing could make his home, his time, unrecognizable. There was something about butterflies and the weather too, but he didn't quite follow that one. Because he was thinking about the stuff in his pocket.

Go here for the rest: )
thothmes: Siler saying "Damn! And me without my wrench!" (Siler - Damn - No Wrench)
Here (a wee bit late! Sorry, Fig!) is my Friendship Alphabet Soup entry:




Author: Thothmes

Title: Friendship Alphabet Soup - W is for Where There's a Will or an Or

Friendship: Col. O'Neill and Sgt. Siler

Seasons: Seasons 1 through 8, Spoilers for Upgrades, Meridian, Reckoning, Part 2.

Warnings: Mind the giant wrench!... Oh. … Sorry!... Maybe I shouldn't 'a greased it, huh?... Ice bag?

Disclaimer: Okay, so I didn't even write the last three instances of direct speech in this piece. I borrowed them from Reckoning, Part 2, and they belong to the writers of that episode. I never intended to keep them, I didn't use them without crediting, and I'm not - *sniff* - making any money from this, just attempting to amuse folks on the internet in a highly non-viral way, so please don't sue me. I have college educations to save for, and my kids are sweet young things with big limpid eyes, and hopeful smiles. You wouldn't want to leave them in a state of ignorance over four wee lines, would you?

*************************




As far as Sgt. Siler was concerned, officers were like the weather, hard to predict with any accuracy, beyond the ordinary person's control, and capable of greatly affecting the tenor of a working man's day. And like the weather, most of the activity they generated was made way up high where the air was thin, and fell alike on the just and the unjust down below. His personal approach in dealing with all this was to try to keep his head down and keep going, regardless. What can't be changed must be endured, and in general, it wasn't worth having too much of an opinion about the weather.

Now no one had ever asserted that Sgt. Siler was the most adroit or lucky of men. He was no stranger to the infirmary, and he did seem to draw more than his share of stray electricity. He himself considered the number of shocks and jolts he had received to be the natural result of working with the Stargate and the massive electrical infrastructure that was needed to run it. The infirmary, where Siler found himself from time to time, was one of the places where officers and enlisted men encountered each other with regularity, and that was where he first encountered Col. O'Neill.

continues here )
thothmes: Jack sniffs the coffee Walter gave him.  Legend:  I swear sir, I didn't let Dr. Jackson touch it! (Poisonous Coffee?)
Title: C is for Coffee for On World Alphabet Soup

Author: Thothmes

Season: Any season before Season 8, excluding Season 7

Warnings: Uhhhh... make sure you don't burn your tongue?

Disclaimer: Instant human, just add coffee. Oh, you mean a disclaimer about the fic, not the author. Well, I guess then, that I feel constrained to point out that I did not keep, misuse, permanently maim, or profit from any of the characters in this story - except inasmuch as I may garner some reviews. In fact I have merely caffeinated them, and put them back more alert and ready for action, able to give their full and undivided attention to matters at hand. Oh, and I know it may be indelicate to mention this, but they may also need to take a break to avail themselves of the facilities soon...

Story Here )


Find the rest of the entries for this Alphabet Soup Here in complete form on DW

and here, abbreviated but with links on LJ
thothmes: Siler deadpan "The world's ending again.  Must be Wed." (Siler - World's Ending)
Title: J Is For Just A Bit Off Base, for the On World Alphabet Soup
Author: Thothmes
Seasons: Stargate the movie, through the beginning of Season 8 of SG-1
Spoilers: A whole bunch of minor spoilers for the times when things leak out or people come in to the SGC. Nothing major for anything, really.
Warnings: An Asgard beams in. He beams out. Please don’t drive yourself nuts trying to find the scene in canon. There’s nothing in canon that really prevents it, and I made it up. The other events are canon, and if you want to waste your time tracking them down, don’t let me stomp on your fun.
Disclaimer: I’m not stealing the characters and property of MGM, Gekko, etc. I’m just borrowing them, and putting them back. I’m not even using many of them, and I’m not getting any money for them. Besides, TPTB, you haven’t been using them for far too long, and if we fanfic writers don’t take them out and dust them off from time to time, they’ll fade into non-entities, and won’t be worth anything to you anymore.

Story Here )


Find the rest of the entries for this Alphabet Soup Here in complete form on DW

and here, abbreviated but with links on LJ
thothmes: Jack O'Neill is sitting at a table surrounded by desserts and is chowing.  Legend: Eat dessert first, Life's too short. (Eat Dessert First - LTS)
This fic is a giftie for Lolmac. A full eight months ago I told her that I could probably come up with a comment fic for this graphic of hers, and here it finally is. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE GRAPHIC, GO IMMEDIATELY AND SEE IT. I'll wait, and if you don't you may be confused. For those who are not regular visitors to the site, please note that there is mouseover text too. Don't miss half the fun!

Title:Oh Kneel Before Your Gods

Season: Well, before season 10 when TPTB callously assassinated the Asgard without even allowing them to send their regards to their favorite, O'Neill! Late Season 5 maybe?

Spoilers: For the existence and general deportment of Thor, Nirrti, Yu, and Cronus. Oh, and a wee one for Arsenic and Old Lace. Can you find it?

Warnings: Caution, Crackfic Escaped from Comments Due to Size. SILLINESS! Eeeeee!!! It's gen unless you want to squint through your Jack/Thor, Jack/Sam, or Jack/Daniel specs, but you'll have to work it from your end, I think.

Disclaimer: I did not ingest anything that reminded me of the '70's before writing this. I have not been following any rabbits down holes, or talking to little blond girls in blue frocks and pinafores. I freely confess to having spent a few too many moments in front of sitcoms as a child [they were what the school authorities parked us in lieu of recess on rainy days], although because my mother rationed TV, I'm willing to bet I've watched less than you have...

Oh, yeah. That other thing. Don't own them, won't break them, not getting a sweet producing deal. RDA and the rest won't be delivering lines I write, and I will definitely not be able to send my final two kids off to college on the proceeds. I won't even be able to buy a single square of bubble gum.

Be very, very thankful, because if this sitcom actually became a world wide hit, America would have to spend the rest of eternity apologizing for our single-handed utter destruction of world culture.

Oh. Wait. I forgot about The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction. And the Kardashians.

Nevermind.

Sitting-comfortably-with-popcorn-popped-and-buttered-and-pizza ordered-Let's-watch )


********************

Enjoy!
thothmes: Dirty Jack and Prince Daniel from Need (One of These Things Is Not Like the Othe)
Title: Minor Characters Alphabet Soup - C is for Cool Competence
Season: Through the end of Atlantis
Spoilers: Minor for Message in a Bottle, Divide and Conquer, 48 Hours, Orpheus, Atlantis: Enemy at the Gate, miniscule for a Homeworld Security scene from Stargate Universe. And of course, Lockdown where Dr. Brightman makes her only appearance.
Warnings: Do you know about Teal'c and tretonin? Do you know where Jack went when he left the SGC? Do you know General Hammond's ultimate fate (as mentioned in Stargate Atlantis?) Okay. I think you're good to go, although I should also mention that this is one of those fics that it was like pulling teeth to get ANYTHING down on paper, so it is not my best work, but then again, it probably doesn't read to you as being as forced as it seems to me. I'm sure you all know how that is sometimes.
Synopsis: The shy, quiet ones, who act with restraint and internalize most things can be healers too.
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV, although RDA, Michael Shanks, Teryl Rothery, and Alison Down have at one time or another. I am married to one, but since I'm only borrowing the characters, and I'm not making any profit off of them, it would really be mean and probably not very legally effective to sue him for all he's got. I don't have a salary of my own, other than the hugs, kisses, and phone calls I earn by being Mom. I suppose If you sue me, I could send you some xoxoxoxox's?


Story Here )

***************

Thanks for reading. Go read everyone else's [link to be edited in when it's all posted] on LJ, and [link to be edited in when it's all posted] on DW
thothmes: O'Neill Salutes.  "Thanks to All Who Serve" (Thanks To All Who Serve)
I wrote a Five Six Things, which is posted here for Part 1,
her for Part 2, here for Part 3 on [livejournal.com profile] sg1_five_things. It was just slightly more than twice the comment length limit.

Those who want it all in one convenient chunk can read it here. In the version here, I have corrected an error and put the six times in correct chronological order. I also cleared up one word redundancy (a constant problem I need to be vigilant against as I write). On the entries at The Pentangular Gate they are in their original, more dramatically effective order, and I (gasp!) use a word twice in one sentence. You makes your pick and takes your chances, I guess. The Pentangular Gate order is the order in which they originally occurred to me, the order here is what happens when the little purse-mouthed nit-picker of an editor in my brain says "They're all in chronological order except for that one! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it NOW!" Sigh.

Title: Six Times General Hammond Almost Retired Before He Did
Seasons: One through Seven
Spoilers: Well, that would give away some of my choices.
Warnings: There is an illegal sixth thing! The rules have been bent! The boundaries have been transgressed! Civilization is imperiled! AAAAAAAAAH!
Synopsis: SG-1 seems to bring out the best and the worst in everybody, and George Hammond is no exception.
Disclaimer: If you come after me for a bit of fic in which I made no permanent alterations to the characters, which profiteth me not, except as much as I receive reviews, well then I retire - just like Jack O'Neill! Not having his stamina, I don't think I'd last a whole year before I came back though.



Six Times General Hammond Amost Retired Before He Did )
thothmes: Bra'tac gives a luminous grin, from Lost City. (Bra'tac Grin)
Title: Bra'tac and the Jaffa Alphabet Soup - U is for Unspoken
Season: PreSeries through Post Series
Spoilers: Minor for Bloodlines and The Warrior
Warnings: Since this was written when all God-fearing betas are abed, it's unbeta'd
Synopsis: It isn't only the notes that make the music. It's also the rests.
Disclaimer: I still don't command any Jaffa, despite the fact that my kids sometimes think I'm acting like an evil overlord, nor do I own SG-1, their heirs or assigns. I borrow them, make them do my bidding, and then let them go. They'll eventually, in the fullness of time, die free, and I'll die uncompensated, monetarily speaking.


U is for Unspoken )


********************



The entire collection of Bra'tac and the Jaffa Alphabet Soup offerings is here on Dreamwidth.
thothmes: Jack O'Neill, head down, pen held by forehead.  Legend: Writing is Hard (Writng Is Hard!)
I've posted a few fics over at [livejournal.com profile] sg1_five_things and I had a bit of a problem fitting the first of them all into the itsy bitsy LJ comment limits, so in order for it to be coherent, it occurs in seven comments to make up the five parts.

Title: Five Times a Member of SG-1 Got Caught Trying to Sneak Out of the Infirmary
Seasons: One, Two, and Seven
Spoilers: A line from Emancipation, Cold Lazarus, Solitudes, In the Line of Duty, Heroes
Warnings: Canon Character Death. I hate it when that happens, but what is done is done. For now. Until TPTB undo it, or someone writes a fan fic we all like so much we make it canon.
Synopsis: The first time Janet Fraiser catches a member of SG-1 sneaking out of the infirmary, and one time she doesn't.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I snuck them all out, but I did put them all back... eventually. Because they aren't mine, and I know that. No money involved, either in the story, or here at my house.


Part 1A, here
Part 1B, here
Part 2, here
Part 3A, here
Part 3B, here
Part 4, here
Part 5, here

Also I posted:

Title: Five Times SG-1 Almost Destroyed The World
Season: Anywhere you want to fit them, and Season 10
Spoilers: Unending and Tangent, minor for Fair Game
Warnings: Well, it was written in haste with distraction, so it’s not my best work, but otherwise, no.
Synopsis: Galactic exploration has its hazards. Some of them are home grown.
Disclaimer: No profit. No need to destroy me or my planet. Putting them back now.

Five Times SG-1 Almost Destroyed The World

Please look down in the comments for an explanation of how Number 3 works. I forgot that not everyone is familiar with the problem and its answer in my haste to write the bit and get it posted before the reveal. Just goes to show that post in haste, repent at leisure!

And:

Title: Five Running Jokes SG-1 Had With Themselves
Season: Any
Spoilers: Minor for Point of View
Warnings: Eeek! I cheated. One isn’t a running joke!
Synopsis: What the title say (almost).
Disclaimer: No profit. No need to destroy me or my planet. Putting them back now.

Five Running Jokes SG-1 Had With Themselves

Don't forget to look in on everyone else's offerings (links are here). There are some wonderfully clever ones.
thothmes: Jack glances down with mildly animated curiousity.  Legend:  Go Figure! (Go Figure!)
This story is an expanded version of my comment suggestions for the likely aftermath of [personal profile] tallulah_rasa's story That Thing With Feathers, here on her DW journal. Go, read. Immediately. It's short (616 words) and very amusing. I'll wait right here 'til you get back. [Those of you who don't want to be spoiled should not read my comment at the top of the second page of comments]

Back? Settled? Comfy? Good. Let's begin.


Title: A Pig's Tale
Season: Any time before Between Two Fires
Spoilers: Schrödinger's owner's name?
Warnings: Duck! The pigs are flying! Ummm... That didn't come out right. How 'bout this: Look out! Pigs! Flying!
Synopsis: The tale of a time Jack loved unwisely and too well.
Tragicomedy now with more pig!
Disclaimer: It's got a flying pig. Don't expect it to be all sensible and stuff... What?... Intellectual property rights?... Oh, yeah. I don't own the show or any of the characters. Even the pig is borrowed from [personal profile] tallulah_rasa


A Pig's Tale )
thothmes: Teal'c holds crystals possessively, while Jack speaks (Teal'c...Share!)
Title: Five Human Customs Teal'c Does Not Understand, And One He Does
Season: None in particular, all in general.
Spoilers: The results of the Jaffa struggle for freedom revealed! Teeny-tiny one for The Fifth Man.
Warnings: Not really, unless the results of a bris are offensive.
Synopsis: Jaffa meets human. Puzzlement ensues.
Disclaimer: All fun, borrowed characters returned, fluffed, folded, and smelling fresher. No customs destroyed in the making of this fic, which is, both by necessity and design, highly non-remunerative, but plenty of fun to write.

here at this journal )

or

Part One, here at The Pentangular Gate on LJ and also Part Two.

Enjoy.
thothmes: jack lies on an infirmary bed, one hand on his forehead.  He is wincing.  Legend:  Big Headache! (BigHeadache!)
A long time ago (January 1st!) on [livejournal.com profile] lolmac's journal entry here, I made a comment in reaction to her posting and the mouseover on the picture as follows:

"If he really wants to outdo Mac's shirt, he just needs to get Carter to figure out a way to get his hair to change color in waves like one of those fiber optic desk-lamp thingys. I'm sure she could figure something out...

Can't you just see Hammond during the briefing trying desperately (and ultimately futilely) not to ask what the hell is going on with the Colonel's hair and why, lest he encourage them by reacting?
"

[livejournal.com profile] lolmac asked me to write this bit of crack fic, and suggested that some alien technology might be responsible.

I was going to immediately fire back with a little comment fic. But I fell asleep instead.

And then rl got hoppin' and it's taken me until now.

So without further ado:


Title: A Hair Brained Scene

Season: Sometime after both Legacy and Shades of Grey, probably 4th Season

Spoilers: Minor ones for both the above mentioned episodes. And it isn't a shocker that SG-11 is not the good karma team of the SGC, right?

Warnings: Silliness. Do not take seriously. Seriously. I mean it. (Anybody want a peanut?)

Disclaimer: I'm messing with characters that don't belong to me, and putting them in my bizarre off-kilter sandbox. Since I'm not charging admission, and they can go right back when I'm done, if these shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended...

Synopsis: He is the very model of a modern Major General. He knows things.

A Hair Brained Scene )
thothmes: General O'Neill & Walter.  Pointing to Jack - keeps SGC amused.  To Walter - keeps SGC running (Walter Runs It)

Title: Jack O’Neill and the Snarky Memo

Author: Thothmes

Season: Seven, between Enemy Mine and Space Race

Spoilers: Entity, Enemy Mine, and knowledge of Daniel’s inability to stay dead.

I made an icon, and after I did, I felt it needed to be fleshed out into a story.

We all know Jack’s not getting all his memos. What about the ones he sends?

Disclaimer: Not mine.  No profit.  If they had wanted me not to play with them, they shouldn't have made them such fun.

There Be Fic Here... )

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A Few Words From The Wise

Speak to him, for there is none born wise.
-The Maxims of Ptahotep

In mourning or rejoicing, be not far from me.
- an Ancient Egyptian Love Song

But your embraces
alone give life to my heart
may Amun give me what I have found
for all eternity.
-Love Songs of the New Kingdom, Song #2

To Know the Dark

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings.
-Wendell Berry

Up in the morning's no for me,
Up in the morning early;
When a' the hills are covered wi' snaw,
I'm sure it's winter fairly.
-Robert Burns

Visit to the Hermit Ts'ui

Moss covered paths between scarlet peonies,
Pale jade mountains fill your rustic windows.
I envy you, drunk with flowers,
Butterflies swirling in your dreams.
-Ch'ien Ch'i

Mistress of high achievement, O lady Truth,
do not let my understanding stumble
across some jagged falsehood.
-Pindar

Every Gaudy colour
Is a bit of truth.
-Nathalia Crane

I counted two-and-twenty stenches,
All well defined, and several stinks.
-Samuel Coleridge